I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
