Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
