Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
