I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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