I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
