I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
