if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
