Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
