he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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