Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
