Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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