smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
