Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
