he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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