Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
