a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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