I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So much rum. So many feels.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
