What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
