"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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