shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
