were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
