So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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