im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
