I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
