I'd wear matching sweaters with you
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize
