I'm really into asian looking animals
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
