I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
