if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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