just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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