Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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