the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
