is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
