white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
