my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
