Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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