i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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