At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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