He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
