Tell her she can't have a vagina
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
