Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
