I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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