I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
