I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
NoShamevember. You game?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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