i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
