operation harelip BJ is a go
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
