; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
