My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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