Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
