So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
