i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why do cheetos always look like penises
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
