even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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