That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
