Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
