we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
