don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
