So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
