i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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